Mom . . . Where Does Your Help Come From? 

Parenting Pathway Blog

Moms are some of the most judgmental people I know!

Got your attention? Before you start looking up my address to come and get me, let me explain.

Moms are some of the most judgmental people I know when it comes to judging themselves.

Sound better? Yes . . . and no, because it probably pinches. You probably know just what I mean.

I thought I had outgrown this particular problem because I am now a grandma. I thought that until I saw a Facebook post of a fabulous princess tea party a grandma was having with her granddaughter. My first thought was that I must not be that great a grandma after all! Because of a princess tea party!

I remember being a mom and judging myself very harshly.

My house was a mess. (Why shouldn’t it be a mess with four children and a dog running through it plus red North Carolina clay just outside my door?)

I lost my temper and yelled at the kids. (Yes, the three older ones were all asking questions at the same time, and the baby was crying, and the dog was barking, and the house was a mess, but . . .)

It was April and we were behind on homeschool by at least three months. (I don’t even feel like making up plausible excuses for this.)

My best friend’s three girls looked like a picture from a magazine with beautiful homemade jumpers and matching hair bows, while mine had dressed themselves for church today (you know what that means!).

Yes, we were having instant mac and cheese for lunch for the third straight day. (It could have been hot dogs for the fourth straight day, you know!)

All the things I coulda, shoulda, oughta do piled up and made me turn into the judgiest mom you ever saw. And all that judgment ended up on my own shoulders. Because I was trying to be something I had designed; something I had dreamed up; something I thought my family needed.

Psalm 121 has become one of my favorite psalms—I wish I had grabbed onto it twenty years ago! I want to encourage you with the first two verses. Please read it twice before you go on:

“I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?” How many times have I looked around me for help? I’ve looked to my own ingenuity. I’ve looked to the latest self-help book. I’ve looked to the opinions of my friends. I’ve looked all kinds of places and found temporary solutions.

These were temporary solutions when I could have had so much more . . .

Read the full article on our Parenting Pathway blog.


  • Barbara Deatherage

    Barbara Deatherage is the Elementary Ministry Leader at Stonebriar Community Church. At nineteen, her life completely changed when she met Jesus Christ and accepted Him as her Savior. Three days later, she met Jim Deatherage who would become her husband. Barbara went from rebellious college girl to pastor’s wife in a very short amount of time. Several moves took them from Pennsylvania to Maryland to Virginia to North Carolina to Kansas and finally to the North Texas area where they live now. Also, along the way, Barbara and Jim became mom and dad to four children: Rachael, Caleb, Melody, and Evan. Their kids are growing up, but that means the blessing of five grandkids. What fun!